


Bring Him Home

by Mareel



Series: Always [4]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Alliance, Cerberus - Freeform, Citadel, Family, Friendship, Gen, London, M/M, Mass Effect 3, Mass Effect 3: Extended Cut, N7 month, Shepard's father - Freeform, Spacer Background, canon character death, injuries, mentor, war hero
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-12
Updated: 2015-11-12
Packaged: 2018-05-01 05:45:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5194400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mareel/pseuds/Mareel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They say people near death see their lives flash before their eyes. Sitting here on the Citadel, my life flashes before mine...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bring Him Home

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place on the Citadel during the final battle in London (Mass Effect 3). Anderson and Shepard are sitting together, sharing a few last moments. This is Anderson's voice. 
> 
> Posted in honor of Remembrance Day/Veterans Day 2015.  
> Inspired by the song "Bring Him Home" (from _Les Miserables_ ).

 

There are some young soldiers who just bear watching – their careers, their decisions, their ability to handle themselves in a crisis.

I decided a long time ago that John Shepard was one of those soldiers. 

I don't know his mother personally, but her reputation and record were good. But his father, Commander Liam Shepard... I knew his father well, served alongside him for a few months when his ship was fighting batarian slavers. Trying to take the pressure of constant attacks off a group of colony worlds. 

When I heard he'd been killed in action on one of those missions, I thought about what a loss it was, not only to the Alliance, but also to his wife and young son. He'd been so proud of that kid. I'd figured it was just a dad's usual pride in their child, but still I kept the name Shepard in the back of my mind in case he turned up in the Alliance a few years from then.

Sure enough, the kid enlisted on his eighteenth birthday. He didn't need any help from me, but I still checked now and then to make sure he was doing okay. Saw he made it to officer training on Arcturus Station before things in my own life got in the way of keeping track of much of anyone else.

Next I heard, that young soldier was being hailed for his heroism on Elysium, protecting the colonists by holding off the batarians for hours pretty much by himself. Maybe he was thinking of his father then.

____________________________

 

When I was given command of the _Normandy_ , he was an N7 and I knew I wanted that young Commander Shepard as my XO. 

Then when the time came, if I had to hand my ship over to anyone, Shepard would have been my first choice to trust her with. Determined, with idealism tempered by experience, he was a natural leader ¬– the kind of man his people would follow into hell and back because they trusted him. His father would have been so proud of him.

His death was a gut-punch. I never had any children. My marriage didn't survive the military life and Kahlee and I were lucky to even see each other now and again, but if I'd ever had a son... losing him would feel like that. 

His alien crewmembers dispersed after the _Normandy_ was lost, but I kept an eye on the Alliance survivors. There was a lot of mourning, but Lieutenant Alenko took it the hardest. I know Shepard had relied on the biotic as his closest squad member, the one who'd always have his back. Having watched them together, it seemed to me that there was a deep trust that had developed between them. More than once it crossed my mind that there might be more than a survivor's guilt and loss of a friend contributing to Kaidan's profound grief at Shepard's death. 

As for Shepard himself, I'd never heard even a rumor of any personal relationships or romantic involvements, though I'd heard plenty of flattering comments about him from his crew. I always figured it was his single-minded focus on the mission that kept him aloof, but looking back... I don't know. Can't even speculate. 

But I know how lonely that job can be.

____________________________

 

Seeing him alive again surprised the hell out of me. Seeing that Cerberus was responsible and that he was working with them... that concerned me. What if they were somehow controlling him, using him as a puppet for the Illusive Man's own purposes?

When I met with him and got his Spectre status restored, I decided that if Cerberus did think they were controlling him, they might have a surprise coming. But if he felt strongly enough about his mission with them to live with the official Alliance sneers and disparagement, I sure as hell wasn't going to say anything that would make his life there any harder. 

But I guess I did that unwittingly. He'd only made one request, apart from getting his Spectre status restored. He wanted to know about Kaidan. And I couldn't tell him anything other than that Alenko was alive and on a classified mission. I could see something in Shepard kind of shut down at hearing my reply.

Maybe I realized then that my suspicions about the both of them might be right, that there was something between them and whatever it was, it was important to them both. When I had the chance, I did what I could, forwarding a letter from Shepard to Kaidan just before Shepard returned to Earth to turn himself in to the Alliance authorities, breaking ties with Cerberus.

____________________________

 

Now it comes down to this. The final push toward that beam. Shepard and his squad were approaching from one direction, my team and I from another. I heard him calling down the _Normandy_ for an evac and wasn't sure who all was still with him. Part of me hoped he'd used the opportunity to send anyone injured to safety, to send Kaidan to safely, but I know how stubborn _he_ would be about leaving, how fiercely devoted – even injured he'd plead to stay with Shepard.

But it's just Shepard and me now, at the end. Even the Illusive Man is dead. Shepard got thru to him finally. I find myself injured. Shot. I know it's bad. But I'm old; I've had my life, my love. 

Shepard is badly injured too, exhausted. And I keep thinking about the life he could still have. Deserves to have. The life I'd want for a son, if I'd ever had a son. Love. A family. A home. He's young. He's given everything, even his life once already. Now I just keep thinking... praying maybe. Let him live. 

God damn it all. Let him _live_!

"You did good, son. You did good. I'm proud of you... "

 


End file.
